Dogs

I spend a lot of time at night in the nursery, sitting in the glider,  pumping. My sweet dog Diesel likes to come in and lay on the rug to keep me company.

I can tell that the dogs know something is going on. They just look at me with a puzzled look like they know something isn't right. I'm excited for the day when we bring Cooper home and get to see a real reaction from the dogs.

Emotions

Cooper has been doing so well in the NICU that it is easy to forget how precarious of a situation we are really in. We have crossed so many milestones in the past few days, like getting to hold him for a short amount of time, and Cooper eating a tiny bit of my milk through a feeding tube. I'm so proud of him for being a fighter but when things don't look so great it scares me even more.

This evening he had a few moments when his heart rate dropped drastically. Everyone says it is very common in preemies for that to happen, but when you are watching the monitor of your own child,  it's incredibly scary. I'm not typically an emotional person, but every evening when I leave to come home I shed a few tears. Mommies aren't supposed to be separated from their babies.

So while we technically had another good day, it was an emotional day.

Story Books

We are having another great day! It's so great to be able to stay here with him all day. Jake got to hold him for the first time today.  Cooper really seems to enjoy being held. We really enjoy his cuddles.

I've had some friends ask me what they can do or what they can bring for Cooper. Because he is so small,  he doesn't wear clothes yet, and since he won't be going home for awhile we don't need baby stuff there yet. The one thing I can think of that would be nice to have is story books.  There are a few here in the NICU library,  but I'm sure I will get tired of reading the same stories over and over. If you have any books that you would like to donate to Cooper's library let me know.

Rock Star

I haven't updated since Sunday because life has been hectic since then.  I did get an ultrasound on Sunday morning at about 11am and Dr K was able to sit in and watch.  The first few measurements are looking similar to Saturdays but then all of a sudden they looked bad, very bad.  He said that he did not want to deliver until it appeared that the baby was in distress and during that ultrasound he decided it looked that way.

Just before noon he decided to go prep for surgery. My friend Rachel was here for me during the ultrasound and I wanted her to come in to the surgery with me. We got a hold of Jake and he decided he wanted to come home so we got the doctor to contact the Red Cross before the operation to get Jake on his way. I got to meet the neonatal doctor (a different Dr K) and a NICU nurse, Nurse C. At 1:15 I was walking into the operating room and Baby Cooper was delivered via c-section at 1:33. As soon as he was out, they held him over the curtain barrier so I could see him and he opened his eyes. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen! They whisked him down to the NICU (Rachel got to go with him) and they stapled me up and sent me to recovery.

A few minutes later the doctor came in the recovery room and told me that he and the nurse took a close look at the umbilical cord and placenta. There is supposed to be something called Wharton's jelly that adds some support to the umbilical cord,  but where my placenta meet the cord,  the jelly was not there. He is quite sure this caused the cord to fold in on itself and ultimately led to the high pressure. He felt certain that the choice to deliver Cooper at 29 weeks saved his life.

Sunday evening I was able to ride down to the NICU to visit Cooper. I even got to take his temperature and change his poopy diaper!  Everyone commented that he was doing everything they hoped he would. I heard him called a "rock star" by multiple people.

My mom arrived that evening and Jake arrived home Monday evening. The past few days I have just been hanging out at the hospital, recovering from the surgery, working on getting my milk to come in, and visiting Cooper's room. Today I was discharged from the hospital. I'll be honest,  I was ready to get out and be independent again,  but signing the papers it hit me that Cooper wouldn't be just down the elevator anymore. I know the next few months are going to be incredibly hard, but I know that in the long run we will all be home together.

Cooper will probably be in the NICU until close to his due date (the end of September) but our house is only 13 minutes away so I know I will be at the NICU a lot of that time. Cooper is still doing amazing. They say most preemies have a honeymoon period where they do great, then they may have a few not so good days. Cooper has had good days so far. I know there will be scares and I know it will be a rollercoaster of emotion,  but it will just take time and he will eventually be ready to come home.

Since I will have lots of time at the NICU, I plan to keep the updates coming on this blog,  so stay tuned to follow my boy on his journey home.

Back in the Hospital

Well home bed rest didn't last long.  I had an ultrasound Thursday afternoon to check the dopplers in the umbilical cord. I got to speak to the high risk doctor (Dr K) and he said the numbers looked better but still not great and that he recommended coming in for an ultrasound every other day to keep a close look to catch any problems early.

I was able to go home on Thursday but came back on Saturday morning for another ultrasound.  I'm starting to understand what it is they look for,  and I could tell the dopplers did not look good. Sure enough, Dr K came in and told me he wanted to admit me right away. Baby is still okay,  he is not in danger at this point,  but he is very close to that point.  The doctor wants him constantly monitored so if at any point he does get distressed they can intervene.

I'm getting another ultrasound sometime this morning,  and we will go from there. Bed rest is not easy,  hospital bed rest is harder,  but I'm trying to make the most of it.  I got a shower this morning and it's amazing how much better I feel. My mom flies into town this evening so I'm excited to see her!

Little Scare

This week I had my first little scare with the pregnancy.  I went in for my regular checkup on Tuesday (approximately 29 weeks.) I had mentioned before that I would get to have an extra ultrasound to check the location of the placenta.  The ultrasound was awesome!  I got to see all his little body parts again and the tech even switched to the 3D view so I got a quick shot of his face.

As she started measuring his head,  stomach,  and femur,  I saw that his measurements are pretty small. Some as low as 26 weeks,  none bigger than 26 weeks and a few days.  She didn't seem too concerned so I figured he was close enough to normal. As she was checking the placenta,  she showed me that the placenta is still very low but the baby's head is right against the cervix, so the placenta is not blocking the cervix which she seemed very happy about. She did some more measurements and pictures for my doctor (Dr. B)  and didn't say much else to me,  but all in all I left the ultrasound room feeling like everything looked great!  As I sat in the waiting room for my OB checkup I even sent out some texts saying "baby is small but healthy,  everything looks great!"

As soon as I walked back for my appointment I saw the doc chatting with another doctor, no big deal but then she asked her nurse, Nurse C, to hook me up to a monitor.  Again I just assumed that was something they did for everyone at that stage. As the nurse took my blood pressure it was high for the first time in my life,  that's when it hit me that everyone else is concerned about something,  something wasn't right,  this was not going to be a normal checkup!

They had me lay in a dark quite room with the monitor checking baby's heartbeat and movements.  The nurse came back in about 10 minutes later and my blood pressure was perfectly fine, she guessed it was probably just elevated from the heat outside. When my doctor came in the other doctor came as well.  She had him read some of the info from my ultrasound and explained to me that the baby's cord pressure was elevated and they were concerned about the his delayed development.  Then she said she wanted me admitted to the hospital for more monitoring and another ultrasound.  She said they would be giving me steroid shots to develop the baby's lungs just in case they decided to deliver early.  That's about the point that I got scared.  Then she told me to go straight to the hospital!

I got to the hospital at about 5 pm. They hooked me up to the heart rate monitor and checked all my vitals as well, gave me an IV and took some blood samples. They gave me the first steroid shot and explained that the second one would be administered 24 hours later.  That's when it hit me that I wasn't going home for the night. It was too late for the ultrasound to be ordered so they told me that would happen first thing in the morning.  My boss went to check on the dogs and brought me some clothes and my phone charger and I started calling friends and family to let them know what was going on. At that point I didn't know how long I would be there or how concerned the doctor really was about premature delivery.  I just knew that if they were giving me the steroid shots it must be a possibility.

I could not fall asleep so after midnight they gave me a mild hypnotic, which worked like a charm.  The nurses came in a lot during the night to adjust the heart beat monitor but I was able to fall right back asleep after they left. Doctor B came to see me early in the morning and said the baby's heart beat was great throughout the night,  the real test was going to be if they saw any change in the cord pressure on the ultrasound. The ultrasound tech came in at about 9 and took lots of measurements,  most looked to be right around 26 weeks again.  He took lots of info from the cord but I had no idea what the numbers meant and I knew he probably want supposed to tell me anyway. My doctor was in an operation but came by at 11 to tell me that the cord pressure was down and I would be able to go home but I would be on bed rest, no working, no running errands, only getting out of bed to cook or shower. I still had to come back that evening for the second steroid shot and set an appointment with the doctor for the following day. 

That's where we are now. I'm at home laying in bed. Bored. I'm not sure how long I'll be on bed rest.  The doctor made the comment that she would be checking his growth and I would be on bed rest until he starts developing or if it looks like that's not happening they would intervene early. So at this point I'm not sure how long they will give him to catch up. I really dislike being on bed rest but I also don't want to deliver so early,  so I'll do what the doctor thinks is best.  I'm hoping to get a little more info at the appointment today,  maybe an idea of how long the bed rest might last and how likely they think it is that they will intervene and deliver early.

Nursery Projects

It recently hit me that I have less than three months until the baby will be here... yikes! What about all the DIY projects I had planned for the nursery!? Well I got my butt in gear today and I'm almost done with the two biggest decor items. Here's a sneak peek at the chalkboard and scrap wood sign.