Way too often I hear "When are you going to start a family?" or "You will be next to get pregnant!" I usually just answer by saying that I'm happy with my independence or we don't have plans for a baby anytime soon! Here are my real thoughts on having a baby and the reasons I'm putting it off.
I am READY to have a baby. But that doesn't mean that I WANT a baby right now, that is something completely different.
A few years ago, I started thinking about having a baby. I had dreams of baby names, and nursery decorations, and cute baby clothes. I wanted all of the fun and cute things that come with having a baby, but I didn't really want the challenge or responsibility of being a parent. I wanted a baby, but I was not ready for a baby.
Those dreams have changed into thoughts of how we will fair financially and emotionally, through not only the infant stage, but also toddler through teenage years. I understand the challenges of being a parent and realize there will be months of exhaustion, no more freedom to make last minute plans, and no extra money to buy all the cute nursery decorations, but I also realize I am up for the challenge, scary as it may be.
There are two things keeping me from make that big step.
For one thing, so many people have warned me to wait. Sure, when we first got married lots of people started to ask when we are going to have a baby, but on the other hand, many people also told us to spend a few years together, to build our marriage first. They warned me that parenting is hard and there is no reason to rush it. So...how long should we actually wait? We both turn 28 this year.
The other thing keeping me from having a baby is Jake. He says he isn't ready right now, but is open to the possibility soon. He has set some clear goals and believes that once he achieves those goals he will be ready. I have to agree with him that achieving those goals will make us more financially ready. We have had some real heart-to-heart talks and have set a time that we may possibly start trying. There is no rush.